in my own skin

Have you ever met one of those people who just seem to be happy all the time? You question if maybe they are a fake, but then after being around them in many different situations realize they are not just a fake, they really are happy. I have known a few people like this. They did not look perfect or have a big checking account. They had family problems and even a few health problems, but it did not seem to matter. I have decided it might take me some time, but one day I would like to be like this. It is about changing my attitude. I watched a comercial on T.V. last night . This little boy was throwing a baseball up to himself and trying to hit it with a bat. right before he threw the ball up he would say," I'm the greatest hitter in the world!" then he missed and he would say, "strike one." He threw the ball up again with the same result. With only one more strike to get three, he threw it up...and missed again, He looked down dissapointedly and then he looked up and his eyes got big with enthusiasm and he said," I'm the greatest pitcher in the world!" I am not sure who was being advertised, but the word Optimism appeared below. Although my mood changes and physically, I am bigger than I normally am and I am facing the fact that my body will never be the same after having children, I can say that I am more comfortable in my own skin then I ever have been. I have finally accepted that I am a work in progress, with nowhere to go but up or down and I choose to go up. I am learning that I am good enough the way I am and so is every body else. I am an advisor in young women's for my church and it breaks my heart when I hear the girls talk badly about themselves. I have heard all of them do it at one point. It kind of reminds me of the scene in the movie, Mean Girls, when they all take turns standing in front of the full length mirror at Regina George's house and bash their bodies. " I have man shoulders one says" and they all take their turn. Why do we do this? why do we look at ourselves and see the flaws more often then we see the good. I realize we do not want people to think we are stuck up or conceded and we would rather appear humble, but I think a lot of the time we as women are taking it too far and are so self critical. I guess maybe we see magazines of these beautiful, perfect looking people who appear to have it all and lead a glamorous life. We know though that they are not perfect and they, many of them at least are far from happy. Case and point: Britney Spears. I am not judging her however, I feel so sad for her. I wish people would leave her alone. I guess when I became an advisor for these young women, I remembered how it was to be a teenager and I want them to feel good about themselves. When I was a junior in high school I decided not to play Basketball that year. I played soccer in the fall and always went right into the B-ball season every year and it kept me in shape. At the end of my junior year, according to many of my friends and soccer player buddies, I turned traitor and decided to try out to be a cheer leader. I am still mocked by some of my friends to this day, it was like I had turned to the dark side. I tried out for a lot of reasons. It looked fun, It looked challenging (and having hardly any dance experience it was!) I wanted to try something new. I love wearing really short skirts. I am kidding, that was really hard for me! any ways I did it. I tried out and I could not do any fancy flips or anything, but am actually a very talented summer saulter and so I did them to the best of my abilities and to my great surprise, I made the squad. After the try outs though, I was told that a girl that I had tried out with told a bunch of people that I had gotten really big. I was determined to get back in shape and became obsessed with it. I ate salads and some days hardly anything. I ran all the time and tanned in my back yard. By the time school started a few months later, I had lost about 20 lbs. I had people telling me how good I looked. I got praise for actually probably hurting my body by not only loosing weight really rapidly, but I was barely eating anything. I am realizing more and more how important it is that we be good to ourselves and not be so critical, not just of the physical aspect, but from within. Wow, another post gone wildy out of control. I could probably go on and on about this, but I can tell you it feels good to be okay with what I look like and who I am. I am not so concerned about what others think about me anymore. I know who I am and am good with it. By being more accepting of myself, I have found that I am more accepting of others. Part of the reason I feel so happy is because I am surrounded by good neighbors, friends and family. I am thankful to have so many wonderful people in my life.